video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
