turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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