Screwed.edu
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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