Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
