she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
