Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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