Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You smell like stripper and shame
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
