Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
