Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
