I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
