I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
