I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
