and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
