Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
