do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
