You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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