Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
