he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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