ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
