Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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