Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
