his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
