in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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