If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
