The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize