An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize