i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
whose ass print is on the piano?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
