I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Drake has all the answers
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
