they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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