Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
