Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
