My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
