farters have to be the big spoon...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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