And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
That's intense
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
