you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
