are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize