I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize