goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
