possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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