elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
