This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
