I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
