So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
