It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
