I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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