Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
