Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
