i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
