Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
