IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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