If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize