You just made me feel so damn special
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
