toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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