So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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