i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
