Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
