Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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