I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
