So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
