what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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