I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
