He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
