tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
