I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
