I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
