I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
